Sunday, August 31, 2008

August Ephemera

It's been a month since my last post. Here's the skinny.
  • After Barack Obama's stirring and evocative acceptance speech Thursday night, if Grandpa Munster and Miss Alaska are elected over Obama and Biden, then it's time to call it quits. There really is no hope for this country. The rich, stubborn and stupid can claim a thorough victory over anyone with a heart and/or a mind.

  • The Tampa Bay Rays are for real. After months of labeling it an aberration, it's finally time to face up to the facts: they're good and can't lose in The Trop.

  • The Olympics were a lot of fun to watch. From the China's 8-year-old gymnasts, to Michael Phelps making swimming seem somewhat cool, to NBC's losing out on their ace-in-the-hole All-American story with Shawn Johnson (I went to college with a guy named Shawn Johnson who once cut a wart off his...forget it) for a weirdly incestuous story about an ex-Russian Olympian vicariously living through his American daughter, it was intersting to follow. I do, however, have one bone to grind. When the hell are they going to include the doggie paddle in the swimming events? I am one bad-ass dog-paddler, and my dreams of the gold were dashed by an Olympic Committee prejudice. Fuckers.

  • I have some new poems in the September issue of decomP Magazine. Check 'em out.

  • Manny found "peace" with the Dodgers, who are currently trailing the mighty Diamondbacks in the mighty NL West, baseball's most pathetic division. After walking out ground balls, faking injuries, and making himself seem like the most misunderstood man since Jesus Christ, he left Boston for LaLa Land at the trading deadline. I say, See you later, buddy. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Jason Bay cares, and it's made all the difference watching it. As a fan. I can only imagine the relief his teammates have felt.

  • Chris Adrian's new book A Better Angel is the best short story collection I've read since Jesus' Son. I'm writing a review of it this week, but don't wait. Seriously, you need to read this book. It kicks ass!

  • Speaking of a better angel, may God bless New Orleans. I wonder if President Bush will be on the horn with "Brownie" this time? Is God trying to say something to The RNC about global warming by ruining their little party? But Democrats are getting screwed, too. Where else are we going to find white men with sticks the size of telephone poles up their asses trying to dance on prime time? God, are you trying to rock that Old Testament image again?

  • It's the last year of historic Yankee Stadium, and Hank Steinbrenner's (who seems to be every bit the douche his dad is) $200 million stable of overpaid lumps of shit are not going to see the post-season. When the lights go out in Yankee Stadium for the last time, it will be in September against the Baltimore Orioles. Maybe, finally, Yankee fans will stop yapping about their 25 World Championships and catch up with the new millennium. Here's a hint: buying an All-Star team won't buy you success in baseball. And shame on you, Detroit Tigers, for falling for that con, too.

  • Every time I flip over to Fox News, I feel myself getting dumber.

  • Joe Biden could possibly be the one person I'd most like to have a beer with. But it would have to be in dive bar with football on the tube and Springsteen on the jukebox. I bet Joe could throw the F-bomb with the best of 'em. Is that gay of me?

  • I reread The Book of Revelations one day this summer. If the Jehovah's are correct, we're all in for a serious ass-kicking.

3 comments:

ANDREW SCOTT said...

I almost -- almost -- checked out from my local library the New Testament as read by Johnny Cash. But then, since his songs get stuck in my head, I feared hearing the words of that wacky book over and over again forever. That idea made me take a pass.

I'll have to check out the Adrian book.

Nate Graziano said...

I can't currently check out books from the local library because I have an overdue account on two videos: "Strawberry Shortcake: Let's Dance" and "Thomas and Friends: James Learns a Lesson." Granted, both classics in their own right, but still.

The Adrian book kicked my ass, made me its bitch, then had me scrubbing the toilet with my hair brush. I can't remember the last collection I read where not a single story missed.

alternating current said...

i would rather have a beer with springsteen, and biden can kick it on the jukebox. love me some boss.