Saturday, August 22, 2009

Covers, cock-slaps, and more ephemera

After watching the Sox get cock-slapped by the Yankees last night, I'm having trouble focusing. My thoughts are coming in jabs: a pummeling of caprices. I just used the word caprices. I'm not well, folks. I'm a beaten man.

  • If you still think the Red Sox are going to make the playoffs, you're not a Sox fan.
  • Aside from my diligent work as an imaginary sportswriter, I moonlight as a poet. Here's the cover for my new book, After the Honeymoon, coming out Sept. 17. Be sure to buy a copy when it's made available. Make the Baby Jesus smile.
  • Is it me, or does a sick human being deserve medical treatment? Think back to college and all of the indiscriminate sex you had. Now imagine if you got a case of the nasties and couldn't see a doctor at the campus clinic. It's horrifying, isn't it? Why not take the campus clinic model and offer it to everyone?
  • Junichi Tazawa takes the hill today. Doesn't Fox have anything better to show? How about a Full House marathon instead?
  • Watching the Yankees win makes my soul hurt.
  • Thanks to Erin Ruttan and Dave McNamara for their work on the cover. My original idea of putting a picture of my ass in a pair of tight jeans didn't fly. Maybe next time.
  • iTunes has revived numerous scratched CD's that I wrote off as dead. Right now, I'm listening to Black Sabbath's Paranoid. My wife isn't home.
  • Brad Penny, you stink.
  • Have you noticed that straight men feel unusually comfortable talking about Tom Brady's good looks? The dude is impossibly handsome.
  • I have never tired of "War Pigs" and highly doubt I ever will.
  • Thanks to On-Demand, I've been able to share my love for the ThunderCats with my son. I still think Cheetara is babe. For a cartoon, that is.
  • JD Drew embodies everything that makes me sick about professional athletes.
  • Does anyone own a copy of Dark Side of the Moon that isn't scratched; that hasn't, at some point, seen the floorboards of a shitbox car?
  • Entourage is jumping the shark this season.
  • iTunes and On-Demand and the cover of my book, there's a lot to be thankful for these days. Then there's the fucking Red Sox.


Kerri said...

Please, oh please, tell me that I'm #20. If Jaime was crowned the celebrated #10, and I ended up with crappy #19, things won't be looking good for nobody.

I don't know who plays first, second, third, or homerun for that matter. But, I did name my dog Fenway!!
A neighbors, cousins, brother had a dog named Fenway, I thought it was a cute name.

Nate Graziano said...

My dearest cousin,

You don't have a number yet. You have to click on the icon that says "follow" above the little boxes with people's faces. Then you can put your face in a little box, if you so choose (wow, that may be the filthiest thing I've ever written).

The number now is 17. When it gets to 20, there's going to be balloons, celebrations, and special prize.

Kerri, do a bunch of yuppy douches pay you obscene amounts of money to see Fenway? Advertise it: "Do you want to Fenway? Call ###-####."

My son is whining in my ear. I'm about to lose my mind.