My FFS is out of control. Today, while following up on an email sent to me by my publisher in which the link to the offending photo was attached, I discovered this picture taken at my reading at Buffalo State. Take a guess which one.
Holy fucking shit.
Not only is my FFS epidemic, but the over-sized shirt makes me look pregnant. Seriously. I look like a pregnant woman, sans the beautiful glow that only a woman carrying a child can exude. On top of that, I used to think vertical stripes were slimming. Wrong.
My only consolation will come in an Anaheim victory tonight. Mind you, I hate the Angels, but if the Yankees were playing the Third Reich, I'd be conflicted as to whom to root for. If the Spankees win...well, with my FFS and a Yankees World Championship this year, you might find me fist-fighting a mall Santa.
Do you have any bail money?
P.S. If you're a fellow sufferer of FFS and willing to come forward with it, please feel free to contact me. I understand. I'm here. We shall not suffer alone.
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1 comment:
I had to read around here for a while to find out about your FFS - your best friend messed with you about your weight, huh?
Hey, that's what best friends are all about.
P.S. I've been preganat (and fat from it) twice. I didn't really glow, to be honest. If your wife glowed with pregnancy weight, I'd say, do a major count of your blessings!
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