Friday, November 23, 2007

To groom, or not to groom

I agree issues like health care, The War in Iraq and the decimation of the middle class in this country are important issues for the candidates coming into New Hampshire, vieing for my vote, to address. However, one issue has been largely ignored and I believe it’s high time the presidential candidates come out and really let us know where they stand on it. This issue is whether or not people should groom their pubic hair.

For years, I’ve been having this conversation with one of my good male friends (I acknowledge this might toe the line of gay) and it seems to be quite a divisive topic. Now to begin with, it’s almost an obligation for females to trim the hedges. In fact, it has become a form of self-expression—some ladies go for the landing strip, the more adventuresome might groom little hearts or Rorschach test patterns, and ladies who really want to send a message shave it baby’s ass bald. But should women be socially obligated to groom? Of course, you have your rare hunter/mountain man-type of guy that digs diving into a jungle, but I would argue that most men expect some care to be taken to make the downstairs look nice and most women oblige. What would Hillary think?

Then there’s the same issue for men. A lot of guys have turned to the clippers since pornos and the movie American Pie made it fashionable. A number of men who, years ago, viewed their pubic hair with such insouciance it hardly even registered on the radar, with the rare exception of pubic hair jokes, now take their pubes pretty seriously. Many guys will admit they are trying to act as illusionists, trying to make their poles look longer. That’s fine. But I suspect it’s something more to it than that. Is this part of the whole metrosexual-thing that I really hoped was going to be a fad? What would Obama say? How about John Edwards? Does he groom?

And what about you, Mitt Romney? If your hair down there in any way resembles the hair on your head, you really owe us pictures.

You see, folks, you can count on me to get at the real meaty topics. I will be voting in the First-in-the-Nation primaries on Jan. 8. That must make you feel good. At least someone here cares about the issues.


Daniel said...

I shave mine into the shape of a human skull.

Anonymous said...

That's a good one. Mine's shaved like the American flag at the base of America's tallest pole.

Tony said...

With Edwards spending $400 a pop on his haircuts I'd hope he'd get the full body treatment..

Nate Graziano said...

How does one go about becoming a pube-groomer? Is there a school for that?

Anonymous said...

lol graz.