Sunday, January 3, 2010

A New Year (thank God)

While I was very upset that Jennifer Lopez stole my New Year's Eve outfit, like most people in this country, I shed no tears watching 2009 pass like a bad bout of gas.

While blogging last year, I also realized I was spreading myself too widely in my imagined roles. In other words, I realized I can't be an imaginary sportswriter and an imaginary author (although I have books published, I'm still largely imaginary in the literary world), as well as being an imaginary cool guy (okay, so that's only imagined by me). So I've decided, in 2010, I'm going to stick to my guns and SOLELY be an imaginary sportswriter. This, mind you, doesn't mean I won't tie pop culture, sophomoric humor, and irrational editorializing into my blog. Imagine me as a cruder, less funny, and less talented Bill Simmons, one who writes poetry and fiction because he's a masochistic man with a Peter Pan complex and doesn't REALLY want the pressure of being taken seriously (or so that's how I explain rejection to myself).

So we embark on a New Year, my 30 friends. A few of you have dropped from my "Followers" list lately, but fear not. I watched a documentary on David Koresh and The Branch Davidians the other night, and dropping out from a group headed by someone who is clearly unstable is quite common. It weeds out the cowards. Stick with me. And for this fine new year, I promise you, my friends, there will be no shortage of Yankee cum-rants, outrageously absurd baseball conspiracy theories, the lovely non sequitur, and sprinklings of self-promotion.

For example, anyone who has read this blog knows I'm full of shit, but now I'm Full of Crow.

Anyway, thank you to those of you who read my insanity, buy my books, or give me your precious time while you're bored at work, trying to look busy while mindlessly surfing the web, quietly happy that there's something new to read in your "I'm bored at work" internet queue.

If Jesus loves you, that's all right with me. If not, try Facebook. Someone will love you there.


Anonymous said...

I am very impressed with Jo Lo's outfit.

-- Glenn C.

Nate Graziano said...

What's not to be impressed by, Glenn? It's almost like looking at a naked woman...ALMOST. Oh, that J-Lo, she got so creative once she ditched Ben Affleck. She's so much fun.

Anonymous said...

new year starts off great. you will appreciate this, you're welcome in advance

Robin S. said...

Happy New Year, Nate. I don't know squat abut sports (other than golf - for some reason I know a helluva lot about golf, to include the European Tour. So, if you ever have any questions...).

What I DO know is Jennifer's outfit doesn't do a damn thing for me. I think I'd like it a lot more if she looked like crap wearing it, but she doesn't, so there ya go.

Anyway, have a good year, and good luck with all things.

Nate Graziano said...

Happy New Year, Robin. And don't sweat J-Lo. She was married to Ben Affleck. Enough said.

And my anonymous friend, thank you for the Lebowski link. Perfect. Someone needs to produce it using sock puppets.

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