Saturday, October 23, 2010

The word is schadenfreude

I like to consider myself a man with a rock-solid sense of ethics, seldom do I vacillate and, less often, am I baffled by situations of ethical ambiguity. In short, I'm usually Kenny Powers confident in this category.

Last night, however, I was stumped by baseball. While my distinct enmity for The New York Yankees---that special venom that sits on my taste buds anytime I see pinstripes---required that I celebrate in New York's misery after taking a veritable ass-whuppin' at the hands of The Texas Rangers, I was somewhat conflicted by the aforementioned celebration. For two reasons:

The first---and I couldn't quite get past this---stemmed from the image in Game 2 of former-president GW Dipshit clapping in the stands at Arlington. Like most liberals, I will never forgive The Lonestar State for eight years of violence, kowtowing to the rich while the middle-class was obliterated, and pure, unfettered, ass-in-my-hands stupidity. Can I really rejoice with a team that was owned and supported by this clown? This is also the state where Darth Sidious, aka Dick Cheney, blew off his buddy's face with buck shot, an ancillary yet pertinent side note.

Then there was the simple fact that the team celebrated their victory by spraying ginger ale all over each other. Now, I have nothing but admiration for Josh Hamilton and the way he turned around his life; however, as a fan of baseball and a bit of a traditionalist, there's something flat-out wrong about this scenario. Admittedly, all male athletic celebrations reek of homoeroticism, and I'm cool with that. But I can't quite seem to wrap my head around the ginger ale. Sure, it's a sweet and touching story, but, goddamn, it's just wrong.

Nonetheless, I'm still slightly giddy by the fact that 1.) The $2oo million All-Stars got spanked by a team with a regular reason record comparable to Red Sox; 2.) It was A-Rod, who The Spank-boys paid Texas plus his exorbitant salary, watching the final strike; and C.) The fucking Yankees lost! While I know and anticipate The Yankee fan response ("The Red Sox were playing golf" and "Who has 27 rings?"), the German word for what I'm feeling is "schadenfreude," or taking pleasure in someone else's misery. And were the tables turned, Yankee fans would be singing the exact same tune.

After The Yankees go on another ridiculous Hot Stove spending spree and land Cliff Lee and Carl Crawford and every other aging free-agent asking for a gaudy salary, I'll be regretting this post. But for right now, the word is "schadenfreude." And right now, I left my heart in San Francisco. Go Giants!

8 comments:

K. M. Walton said...

Nate, Nate, Nate. Schadenfreude in its purest form. I too loathe the Yankees mainly because they beat my beloved Phillies last year. My entire family high-fived at their demise. And yelped.

I'll let it slide that you're rooting for San Fran. Just this once.

Oh, and GW WAS/IS a dumb ass.

p.s. Our Sarah is a HUGE Yankees fan. But I choose to look past this bit of icky and focus on all of her other outstanding qualities ; )

Nate Graziano said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nate Graziano said...

Kate, I am SO JEALOUS of Halladay that I feel a warmth toward you by proxy. Although, and I've been open about this, I have a man-crush on Jon Lester.

GW Dipshit, ugh. I like to imagine it was an eight-year nightmare, and then I realize IT WAS an eight-year nightmare.

I know this about Sarah. But I used to live with a Yankee fan, so I have some experience dealing with the specie. If you wash your hands consistently, you probably won't contract anything.

Sarah said...

What is this ambush??

Nate, your poor Sox had some good years because your best player cheated! So enjoy your past "wins," but the era is over. You guys have gone back to hating us and we've gone back to not caring.

PS: at least a-rod is still good w/out the 'roids :) but for the record, I HATE him.

Nate Graziano said...

The Yankees have had their fair share of cheaters through the years as well, Sarah, i.e. A-Rod (as acknowledged), Pettite, Clemens (the worst human-being in the world and, yes, a Red Sox alum as well). But you're right about Papi and Manny, and I suspect Papi got back on the juice last year, playing for his contract, which I suspect The Sox will give him.

You can make a good argument for A-Rod being the best player in the game. And The Sox courted him hard in '03, and he is still a symbolic kick in the nuts.

However, make no mistake, Sox fans never stopped hating the Yankees, and you still hate us. It's part of our relationship with each other. But it's passionate, and for that, I love Yankee fans.

In April, Sarah, it'll be go time again. You guys need to buy some pitching.

Sarah said...

Totally agree about us needing pitching.

But, sorry - our so-called rivalry was completely one-sided until 2003. The fans always hated each other, but as for the teams themselves - it was Sox against Yankees and Yankees shrugging. Sorry to burst the bubble of all of New England, but you were just never worthy of a real rivalry :)

And yes, I can trash talk w/ the best of them. This will not effect our working relationship!

Nate Graziano said...

I'd add another factor to the rivalry: Fox Sports, YES, and NESN. The "rivalry" is good for ratings. However, historically, The Sox and Yankees HATED each other in the mid-70s (think Bucky Fucking Dent, Fisk, Munson, Bill Lee, etc). The Yankees were then non-entities for much of the 80s and early-90s, while the Sox found some new ways to break our hearts (1986).

However, the shrugging stopped big time in 2004 when the Yanks pulled the biggest choke-job in professional sports history, dropping four in a row to a bunch of "Idiots." And you had to know that comment was coming. And I would argue the rivalry heated up before 2003 when Clemens went to The Yankees.

Damnit, Sarah, I was working on those edits for you, and now I'm all riled up. Deep breaths, back to work.

Anonymous said...

To defend the Red Sox (oh man, I'm going to have to take a shower after this), they battled through a ton of injuries this year, made no real splashes on the free agent market and still managed to be pretty much the third or fourth best team in baseball this year. I think the Sox and Yankees are certainly worthy adversaries. I have to have a begrudging respect for the Sox now too, because John Henry, who I'm still not convinced isn't actually dead, just bought my beloved Liverpool across the pond.

Back to the Rangers, I don't think W should factor much into your decision to root or not root for them. While he owned them they were a terrible team. Now they're going to their first World Series. If anything, you should be delighted by this.

But Hamilton just makes me sick. Yeah, we get it, Jesus loves Texas. Now please shut up.

-Brian