Thursday, May 8, 2008

I'm invincible!

Maybe, it just me...no, actually, it’s not just me. It's me, millions of voters, the pundits and the politicos from all walks of life that must be starting to notice the striking similarities between Sen. Hillary Clinton and the “invincible” Black Knight from Monty Python and the Quest for The Holy Grail.

At this point, Hillary is wobbling on her last leg, having both arms and her other leg severed by Obama. Perhaps, next she’ll try to bleed on him. With one more swift swipe of the sword (holy alliteration, Batman!) Obama will effectively reduce her to a bloody trunk, at which point, she might call the election “a draw.”

For me, I’m sick and tired of looking at and listening to Hillary. In her speech following the North Carolina and Indiana primaries on Tuesday night, I felt myself becoming simultaneously incensed and deflated by her stubbornness, her Black Knight’s inability to admit she has lost. Apparently, she’s invincible!

And did anyone happen to catch Bill standing behind her, looking oh-so-Botoxed, and clapping at seemingly random parts of her speech. Maybe Bill was hearing: “And when I’m president, I’ll be so damn busy that my husband will have free reign to bang all the fat chicks in the greater-D.C.-area.”

Clap, clap, clap, Seal-Boy.

Hell, Hillary, personally—and maybe Keith Oberman won’t come right out and say this, but I will—I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

There. Take that, Hillary. I just blog-slapped your ass, you Black Knight bee-atch.

8 comments:

christopher cunningham said...

well said.

bill gave her the look like "oh you poor stupid silly deluded woman" when she delivered that
"ALL THE WAY TO THE WHITEHOUSE!" line.

sad really. she can't win. unless 2+2=5.

it's now about getting her own money back, I think...

but the "precious" drives them...

christopher cunningham said...

"you make me sad. so be it..."

Anonymous said...

I honestly believe that she believes she has been ordained the position of president. I mean, just a year ago she had the nomination essentially locked, then she let her guard down, Obama caught fire, and she lost. Now, it seems like she's cracking up, utterly losing her grasp of reality. Today she tried to play the race card against Obama. Is she trying to assure that she won't get offered a position on the ticket, as well?

I have lost a prodigious amount of respect for The Clintons over this primary race. Behind their populist banter, they're typical Washington scum, completely sullied with political shit stains. I hope they continue to lend this decapitated campaign the rest of their fortune. Then they can live among us people they purport to fight for.

I feel a little better now.

This is Nate.

christopher cunningham said...

invicible? or insane?

Matthew Guenette said...

Nate--

You can go your own way. GO YOUR OWN WAY. I'll never say bad things about Fleetwood Mack--there's a video of them doing "The Chain" live, back in the day when everyone in the band had already fucked and hated each other...It's riveting, tense, like my love for you...

Nate Graziano said...

Matt, when I think about you, I think about lunch (ever notice that you can replace the word "love" when used as a noun, with "lunch" in any song?). And Bad Company, by the way, will the list of shitty classic rock bands that I will soon compile on this blog. I BLOG. I'm such a white boy.

And, Matt, as far as Fleetwood Mack, you're SOOOOOO fucking wrong. I will soon defend my stance.

Hark.

christopher cunningham said...

.38 special.

I are blogging, whitely, also.

Nate Graziano said...

They didn't make the cut, but .38 Special was under serious consideration.

The list will start either later tonight or tomorrow.